Getting married is a wonderful occasion, and marriage can be a great adventure. As time passes, the people involved in the marriage can change and evolve. This can lead to issues, sometimes so impactful that it may involve the need to seek out a counselor. This is a perfectly normal occurrence. Marriage counseling can move you through a negative time so you come out on the other side stronger as a team and more ready to handle other issues in the future.
But, how do you know if it’s the right time for marriage or relationship counseling? It can be tough to notice the signs when you get adjusted to certain things happening in the relationship. Here are a few ways to recognize when it may be time to bring in a counselor to help move through relationship problems.
1. WHEN NO ONE IS TALKING
If your daily pattern becomes the same: chatting about the kids, bills, or surface level things about your days, this could be a red flag that something is wrong. Sure, there may be days where this is the extent of conversation, but if this carries into weeks or months, it could be time to seek a therapist. Continuing simple conversation into a longer period of time often means neither one of you is looking to discuss a major issue that’s hanging over you.
This is where a marital therapist could help you. They can be the intermediary, ask questions and allow you to figure out the issue and get through it without arguments or strife. In speaking with a marriage counselor, they can assist in learning new ways to speak to and truly hear and understand your spouse. A third party could be what is needed to improve the quality of your conversations.
2. YOU NEVER FIGHT
One would think that if you and your spouse never argue that this is a good thing; nothing could be further from the truth. Every couple will have issues to move past, no matter how much you have in common. Even minor issues arise in every relationship that need to be addressed, and never having this could mean a much larger problem is near.
Never fighting could be the result of a myriad of issues: a parental example, not knowing how to begin a conversation, being concerned about confrontation, and other things could be why. Finding a good marital counselor can help discover the reasons and help work on ways to respectfully discuss problems when they arise.
3. WHEN YOUR SPOUSE BECOMES THE ENEMY
Over time, small issues can become larger ones, and you grow to resent your partner. They may have become the enemy in your eyes, where everything they do is a slight against you or they do something to purposely antagonize you. This is a big red flag that the marriage is heading in a bad direction.
When you see your spouse as against you and not supporting you, it can create a “me vs. you” scenario, and the collective relationship severely suffers. A marriage counselor is important in this case, where they can act as an outside observer who can discover the root issue and help remove the resentment.
4. A LIFE-CHANGING EVENT
A major life event, such as a death in the family, a major move, or an empty nest could create problems in any marriage. It’s a time where both spouses tend to react and re-assess most of the things in their lives, and the marriage may take a hit. Issues may come up where maybe there wasn’t one before, leading to larger problems, and larger fights.
Big life changes always become a time where people think about where they go next. Issues that result from this can be a good opportunity to bring in a marriage counselor, where they can learn why these questions are there and put both parties on a path to a positive, growing marriage.
These are only a few reasons why a couple may need to seek out marriage counseling. Finding a therapist that can address their needs well and calmly work out issues that have been plaguing spouses means the marriage continues a strong foundation and a lasting relationship. Through a marital therapist, the couple will learn techniques and strategies to help build a new foundation or build up what was already there to lead both spouses into a helpful, positive, and supportive marriage that will last a lifetime.
5. WHEN YOU’RE AT A CROSSROADS
If you and your spouse are at a crossroads in your relationship for these, or any other, problems, a counselor at Lisa Rogers Counseling will be happy to start you on the path to a better marriage.
At Lisa Rogers Counseling, we offer a wide range of therapy and mental health services for several areas. You are not alone in your struggle and neither are your loved ones. Reach out to us today to make an appointment.
Since 1993, I have been providing a combination of all my years of training tailoring specific treatments based on the individual needs and challenges of my patients, facilitating healing. I make every effort to accommodate the busy schedules of my patients by offering evenings, weekend appointments and Telemental Health (Online Counseling-Virtual/Video Conference and Phone Sessions) offered in the following states I am licensed in: New York, California, Illinois, Texas, New Jersey, Florida, and Vermont.