Whether army kids or those just carted along when their parents change jobs, the result is the same. These children and adolescents may reap countless benefits from being so well-traveled, but the lifestyle certainly has its challenges for young people. 

Third Culture Kids (TCK) is the term given to children and adolescents who grow up in countries and cultures other than their home country. The challenges that TCK face are complex, but they’re not insurmountable. Today, we will take a close look at some of the challenges that Third Culture Kids face growing up.

Who Are Third Culture Kids?

As the world gets smaller, more people find their lives taking them around the globe, and their families often get pulled along for the ride. Children of military parents, expatriate workers, missionaries, and transnational parents find themselves growing up in cultures very different from those they were born into.

Some of these TCK may end up living in numerous countries before they turn 18. They all have a wealth of experiences that most children never get, but they also face challenges that the average child doesn’t. Constantly moving and adapting to life in different places can be challenging, exciting, and at times stressful for adults, but it can be even more challenging for kids.

Challenge #1. Culture Shock

Most people experience culture shock when moving from one country to another. But for kids, this change can be further compounded by feelings of displacement, homesickness and missing formative friends or family members.

Sometimes language can be a barrier for TCK as well. If their native language isn’t spoken in the new country, it can be more difficult for children to know what’s expected from them. The more different the culture is from their homeland’s culture, the bigger the challenge when a child is trying their best to settle in.

Culture shock can also occur when TCK go home to their native country. After spending months or years missing and romanticizing the place they were born, they may find it hard to fit in when they return. After all, they have new life experiences that other kids don’t, and it can be hard to feel like you truly fit in after putting down roots in multiple places.

Challenge #2. Feeling They Don’t Belong

Moving to a country where you have few shared experiences with the people you meet can be disorienting. Children have to make new friends and start their lives over every time they move. This can be hard on even the most gregarious of children, but especially hard on shyer ones.

Of course, once they return to their home country, they may feel like they don’t belong there, either. They’ll have missed milestones that their friends experienced, though they’ll also have gained experiences that other kids haven’t. Being a TCK can feel like belonging to two different worlds but never really fully belonging to either one of them.

Challenge #3. Strained Relationships

For many TCK, it’s hard to maintain long-distance friendships once they move to a new country. Even familial relationships with grandparents and cousins can be hard to maintain. The TCK may feel like they’re missing out when things happen within the family back in their home country.

Often, TCK can feel neglected when they move to another country because their parents are busy with their new jobs or taking care of settling the family in. This can leave TCK feeling frustrated, angry, and stressed with no one they can talk to about the situation.

TCK can find it hard to form attachments because of the strain on their current relationships as well. Why get attached when you could have to pick up and move across the world someday?

What Parents Can Do To Help Their Children

Homesickness and culture shock may be unpreventable, but they aren’t unaddressable. Parents should understand the unique challenges their children face when changing places and cultures while learning who they are. Even if parents face their own challenges as expats, they can still help their children deal with the challenges of adapting to life in a different country. This includes:

• Acknowledging their grief over lost relationships. 
• Supporting them in learning about their new culture. Help them find the niche or subculture that fits them best.
• If you have to move again, minimizing the disruption as much as possible. This may mean waiting until the end of a school year so your child can have some sense of normalcy, at least for a time.
• Considering therapy. Having an unbiased, sympathetic person to share their problems with can be a massive relief for kids of all ages. Look for someone who understands the unique challenges that expats face.

TCKs have many advantages over their less traveled peers, but their struggles are meaningful. It is important to address these issues and often it may be beneficial to meet with a therapist to discuss these struggles and work to help your child both integrate into their new culture and retain their original one.

Professional Therapy Can Help You and Your Third Culture Kid Thrive

I understand the unique problems that TCK and their parents face. You and your child don’t have to struggle with expat issues alone and now Virtual Therapy is a convenient options for families spread across the globe.

I provide services in the following contexts:

• Adult Therapy for individuals, marriage, couples, family and groups.
• Child Therapy for individuals, groups, and families. Therapy for social skills and play therapy available.
• Adolescent Therapy for individuals, groups, and families. 

Current services are all available via virtual counseling or in-person in the New York City area. Contact Lisa Rogers for more information. 

Since 1993, I have been providing a combination of all my years of training tailoring specific treatments based on the individual needs and challenges of my patients, facilitating healing. I make every effort to accommodate the busy schedules of my patients by offering evenings, weekend appointments and Telemental Health (Online Counseling-Virtual/Video Conference and Phone Sessions) offered in the following states I am licensed in: New York, California, Illinois, Texas, New Jersey, Georgia, Florida, and Vermont and international on a case by case basis.

Expats often perceive themselves as independent people who aren’t afraid of new things. Yet, this same independence can lead to some negative emotions for those living in a new country. Expat anxiety is real, and it is much more common than you might think.

Even if you moved to a new country by choice because you very much wanted to, anxiety could rear its ugly head. Here’s what you should know about expat anxiety and the effects it can have on you.

What Is Expat Anxiety?

Expat anxiety is simply anxiety that one experiences as a result of living abroad. You might not know that you’re experiencing it at first because the signs of anxiety can start subtly. For example, perhaps you find yourself irritable and in a negative mindset when you expect to be happy in your new home.

Anxiety is triggered by fear or worry. Despite telling yourself that you have nothing to worry about, the act of being an expat is enough to trigger concerns. Will you fit in, will you be able to make friends, will you miss your old life? These uncertainties are a part of everyday life for expats, which can take a toll on your mental health.

Everyone Is Vulnerable

You may think that because you are a positive, outgoing person that you are not susceptible to anxiety. But even the most confident people can experience anxiety in their lifetime, and the likelihood of experiencing anxiety increases for expats.

Being away from your social support network of friends and family can be more challenging than you think. Minor problems can seem much more significant when you don’t have your usual support system in place to deal with them. Add in homesickness, the strain of adapting to a new culture, and possibly even having to learn a new language, and it becomes easy to find yourself overwhelmed and anxious.

Often, expats feel ashamed when they aren’t enjoying life in their new country. But, unfortunately, reality doesn’t always live up to our expectations, and we may feel guilty that we’re not happy and thriving in our new home. Some people feel like they must hide these feelings of guilt and self-doubt, which leads to deeper feelings of anxiety and possibly depression.

Signs of Anxiety 

Often anxiety begins as a general feeling of unease. Perhaps you feel irritable and cranky for no apparent reason. You may start isolating yourself from friends and family. Some expats stop reaching out to their loved ones in their home country out of embarrassment or shame over not feeling as happy as they think they should.

Anxiety can easily lead to depression, especially if you ignore the warning signs. If you find yourself struggling to enjoy your new life, don’t wait until you’re in the middle of a mental health crisis to seek help. Unresolved anxiety can be damaging for your mental health and your relationships, too.

How Anxiety Hurts Expats

Unresolved anxiety can strain your relationships, especially if you don’t feel that you can talk to those around you about your feelings. And if you are the partner of an expat who is experiencing anxiety, they may feel unable to explain what they’re feeling. But keeping these feelings inside won’t help anyone.

Anxiety can also inhibit the formation of new relationships. As a result, you may feel insecure and unable to fit in with work colleagues. You may even struggle to find friends outside of work because of your anxiety, making it harder to integrate into your new country, which sets off a vicious cycle of more profound distress.

How To Overcome Expat Anxiety

Overcoming expat anxiety begins with acknowledging your feelings and then talking about them with someone you trust. Don’t expect yourself to be able to just snap out of it and recognize that things aren’t exactly as you thought they’d be.

Try reminding yourself of the reasons why you moved to the new country. For example, are there new places you can explore to rekindle your excitement of being in a new country?

Most of all, reach out to someone. If you’re married or in a relationship, explain your feelings to your partner. You may want to consider engaging in some relationship therapy to help your partner understand how you’re feeling.

Call those friends and family back home who will listen to your worries, but try to avoid the ones that will urge you to ‘just come home.’ That kind of added guilt can make your anxiety worse as it adds undue pressure on you.

Don’t Suffer Alone

Expat anxiety can be debilitating, but it doesn’t have to ruin your new life. Counseling services can help with your anxiety, and you can even get online counseling from someone who understands the unique needs of the expat community.

At Lisa Rogers Counseling, I offer a wide range of therapy and mental health services for several areas. You are not alone in your struggle and neither are your loved ones.  Reach out to me today to make an appointment.

I provide services in:

• Adult Therapy: Individual, Marriage, Couples
  
• Child Therapy: Group therapy, family therapy, social skills, play therapy
  
• Adolescent Therapy: Individual therapy, group therapy, family therapy, substance abuse

Current services are all available via Teletherapy now during the pandemic. Contact me for more information. 

Since 1993, I have been providing a combination of all my years of training tailoring specific treatments based on the individual needs and challenges of my patients, facilitating healing. I make every effort to accommodate the busy schedules of my patients by offering evenings, weekend appointments and Telemental Health (Online Counseling-Virtual/Video Conference and Phone Sessions) offered in the following states I am licensed in: New York, California, Illinois, Texas, New Jersey, Georgia, Florida, and Vermont.

Even if you wanted to make a move, you could find that your expectations and reality don’t quite line up the way you expected them to. A brand new life in a new country, no matter how wonderful it is, can also come with some unexpected strains on your mental health.

Whether you’re about to become an expat or you’re currently living as one, here is some important information you should know about expats and mental health.

Why Expats Are at Risk of Mental Health Issues

Thanks to social media, the images we get from those who’ve moved to another country are often curated to show the positive side of life. But in reality, life doesn’t necessarily get better or easier just because you’ve changed geographic locations.

Expats are more susceptible to depression for several reasons. For one, starting over in a brand new country and learning to ‘fit in’ with cultural expectations can be stressful. In addition, you may feel a loss of confidence as you question your new identity in an unfamiliar place. 

Life may be more exciting and interesting, but at the same time, the uncertainty of learning to adapt to a new location can be stressful and intimidating. Compound this with the fact that your closest support network, your friends and family, are far away, and it can take time to establish a new support network in your new country. Sometimes it can even feel impossible to do so.

Signs of Depression

Depression can hit expats unexpectedly, but the signs are often there long before you realize you need help. It can be hard to admit you might be suffering from depression, especially if you feel like you should be happy living in a new country and experiencing all the fantastic opportunities that it offers.

You may feel a sense of culture shock as an expat. At first, everything is new and exciting. You might be too busy enjoying the novelty of living in a new place even to consider how stressful it can be. But once the novelty begins to wear off, the reality of being far from home and different from your new peers can hit you hard.

Homesickness and feeling like you don’t know where you fit in are significant contributors to expat depression. If you suddenly find yourself losing interest in your new home or questioning why you left your friends and family, you could be dealing with expat depression.

How Poor Mental Health Can Affect You

The stress of experiencing depression or poor mental health in a new country can significantly impact your life. You may withdraw from socializing and miss out on opportunities to build a new support network in your new home. You might also begin to shut out your old one.

Although they may mean well, your friends and family back home can sometimes compound your anxieties by making you feel guilty for leaving, whether or not they intend to. They may miss you and take every opportunity to tell you, which can make you feel worse and may even lead to you pulling away from them.

If you’re in a relationship, poor mental health can put a strain on it as well. Often, one partner or spouse gives up a job or career to follow their partner to another country for work or other opportunities. This sacrifice can lead to resentment, especially if the unemployed spouse can’t find a job or other ways to integrate into the new location.

Depression can strain any relationship, but compound it with the stresses of expat living, and it can take a serious toll on the relationship if you don’t seek out help.

How To Get Help as an Expat 

While it’s true that you may never experience depression or poor mental health as an expat, if you do, there is help. You don’t have to give up on your dreams, and you don’t have to suffer alone.

Counseling and therapy are widely available options for anyone struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. You may choose to see a therapist based in your new country, or you might decide to engage in online therapy or phone therapy with a therapist from your home country.

You may want to consider marriage counseling, especially if your spouse doesn’t understand why you’re struggling with depression as an expat. If you moved because your spouse is from another country, this could be especially helpful. Your spouse may not understand the strain that expat living can put on a relationship, and therapy can help them see things from your perspective so they can support you better.

Support for Expat Mental Health

Lisa Rogers understands the unique challenges that being an expat can pose to your mental health. She has traveled extensively and lived in many different places around the world. 

At Lisa Rogers Counseling, I offer a wide range of therapy and mental health services for several areas. You are not alone in your struggle and neither are your loved ones.  Reach out to me today to make an appointment.

I provide services in:

• Adult Therapy: Individual, Marriage, Couples
  
• Child Therapy: Group therapy, family therapy, social skills, play therapy
  
• Adolescent Therapy: Individual therapy, group therapy, family therapy, substance abuse

Current services are all available via Teletherapy now during the pandemic. Contact me for more information. 

Since 1993, I have been providing a combination of all my years of training tailoring specific treatments based on the individual needs and challenges of my patients, facilitating healing. I make every effort to accommodate the busy schedules of my patients by offering evenings, weekend appointments and Telemental Health (Online Counseling-Virtual/Video Conference and Phone Sessions) offered in the following states I am licensed in: New York, California, Illinois, Texas, New Jersey, Georgia, Florida, and Vermont.

While many mental health issues can be successfully treated with therapy, society’s traditional values put men in a bit of a juxtaposition of being aware of the prevalence of mental health problems while also understanding the perception of vulnerability as a sign of weakness they can’t address as men.

While the criteria for mental health issues is malleable, the nature of masculinity keeps many men from seeking out the help they may need. This mentality can allow even minor problems to evolve into more severe and malignant issues if left untreated.

Today we will discuss how we can make sure you and your loved ones are taking care of their mental health and ensuring they get the help they need.

What Is the Difference Between the Mental Health Issues of Men and Women?

The main difference between men’s mental issues and women’s mental issues is its development method. The development of mental health issues can fall into a context that primarily applies to men. 

These contexts can cause an individual to define particular behavior as something a conventional man may or may not do, commonly expressed as a man’s inability to ask for help. This includes psychological help even when an individual needs it most.

This point was demonstrated in a recent Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA) survey when it was found that the number of men who seek treatment for mental health concerns is much lower than the number of women:

• Only roughly 60% of men with depression get treatment, but over 72% of women do

• Despite having a lower rate of depression than women, men have a suicide rate that is nearly four times higher.

• Men 18 to 25 are less likely to seek help for their mental issues than men over 50.

Many psychology professionals have come to understand that certain cultural beliefs and social norms revolving around concepts of masculinity play a major role. Men often not only have trouble asking for help but also in receiving it in many cases.

Those same beliefs or social norms can also prevent men from opening up during therapy, which is crucial in the healing process. 

3 Mental Health Issues Worth Discussing With a Professional

Many issues may plague an individual, but some people may not feel comfortable discussing these issues for fear of looking weak in one way or another. 

That, however, does not stop these issues from being essential to discuss with someone looking to help you deal with these issues. Here we have provided a small list of topics that may need to be addressed if you are looking to better your mental health.

Issue #1. Unhealthy Desires of Affection or Attention

Desiring affection isn’t uncommon, but a way men sometimes achieve this sensation is to “do something” in exchange for it. In many cases, this is enacted by fixing something, buying something, or even attempting to help with a problem that no one has asked them to assist them with. 

These can often cause more problems than they are intended to solve and cause strife between normally agreeable parties. By discussing this desire to feel needed or noticed, wounds can begin to heal, and more healthy means can be discovered.

Issue #2. Intense Anger or Irritability

As men often feel the need to hide the more vulnerable emotions like sadness or fear, they tend to resurface as something else. Typically these emotions come back as something they may feel more comfortable handling, like anger or resentment. 

These emotions, however, can often have a more devastating effect than their melancholy counterparts. By learning how to voice their hurt or sadness effectively, men can allow themselves to reveal and potentially address issues in a healthy and open manner.

Issue #3. Turning Numb to Emotions

We’ve discussed the context that men tend to be raised that renders certain emotions as ‘lesser,’ but some are raised to learn that ANY emotion is unacceptable. This nature of raising causes individuals to control or outright avoid their feelings.

This can be expressed by physical altercations, ending relationships, alcohol or drug abuse, and even in denying the personal importance of a loved one. As is the case, anytime an emotion goes unexpressed, it can have more of an impact than actually expressing these feelings.

This is just a short list of the many and varied issues worth bringing up if you or a loved one is struggling with mental health, but the scope of men’s mental health issues is extensive and can manifest in several ways.

At Lisa Rodgers Counseling, Therapy Can Help

At Lisa Rogers Counseling, we offer a wide range of therapy and mental health services for several areas. You are not alone in your struggle and neither are your loved ones.

Reach out to me today to make an appointment.

Since 1993, I have been providing a combination of all my years of training tailoring specific treatments based on the individual needs and challenges of my patients, facilitating healing. I make every effort to accommodate the busy schedules of my patients by offering evenings, weekend appointments and Telemental Health (Online Counseling-Virtual/Video Conference and Phone Sessions) offered in the following states I am licensed in: New York, California, Illinois, Texas, New Jersey, Georgia, Florida, and Vermont.